hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Two words: nipple clamps
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