The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize