I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
