Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
