you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
