do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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