It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I enjoy the company of your penis
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
