youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize