Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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