Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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