Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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