Whod you bang
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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