You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
