I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
