We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
