so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
