Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
