That's intense
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
