is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
