Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize