i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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