What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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