Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
