Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize