do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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