Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize