and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
