I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
