Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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