do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
