Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
