Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
