we're blogging at a bar
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
