They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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