Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
