So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
