ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Pooping to opera.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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