clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
