I'm really into asian looking animals
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
