omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
