Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
