The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
