great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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