i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
