i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
