so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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