How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
