watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
