I just cut my nipple shaving
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she told me i tasted like america
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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