oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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