Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
