before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
