Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
