are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
