i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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