i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
