May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
