What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
