Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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