it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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