My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
