ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
