hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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