Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
