i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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