If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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