I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
