Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
