i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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