She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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