just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
