mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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